Have you ever noticed that at every school, there is always one bossy school mom who thinks that she runs the show? Each year she gets nominated to be the room mother despite the abundance of other qualified applicants, she is always substituting for teachers when they are out, bringing the staff and administration lunch and gifts all year through and essentially is the school busy body. In other words a brown-noser, butt-kisser!
Chances are she runs the yearbook, because she desperately wants her child to be on nearly every page, and she gets some sort of adrenaline rush from wasting our time at the PTA meetings by being president or secretary or somebody! Really, are donut fundraisers really that exciting? Heck, most parents would be willing to just write the school a check rather than be forced to sell all those hideous products that this crazy lady comes up with. (Like cookie dough!)
If your child goes to one of those clique’y school systems, then you know exactly who this woman is. And she annoys you to death. In fact, you probably have secret dreams of hearing that her husband got transferred to China or Canada, and she will be moving far, far, away - just so you will not have to put up with her bossiness for the remainder of your child’s educational career.
The funny part is that even though you and a bunch of other parents disagree with her style, her attitude, and her ideas – you likely don’t say much. In fact, when she calls or emails you asking if you could be in charge of bringing the Cheetos to the next school function, you make small talk and agree. Even though the truth is that you think Cheeto's as a party treat are absolutely ridiculous. Not only are they unhealthy, but they sure as heck make a mess on fingers and clothes. You could jump in and offer to bring a batch of grapes, or even to make brownies. Instead, you sulk and complain and go out and buy two bags of orange doodle twists resenting every bit of it.
So what is it about women, about mothers that make us this way? Are we trying to be polite? Is this our way of not causing problems? Are we jealous? Because it certainly IS NOT fun silently and secretly seething at the sheer sight of the bossy school mom who drives around in her Suburban as if she owns the very property the school is built upon. It’s our children who are in school, not us – right?
The first thing to realize is that there are people in this world who get something from feeling special and important. This woman is a classic example. But her need to be in charge of silly little things like parties or ice cream socials shouldn’t hinder your ability to speak your mind. Sure, she shows up at the school dressed like a wannabe teacher, and is perfectly happy spending an entire day cutting die cuts for the teacher. But why not, she literally has nothing else to do. And, she is likely very worried that without nudging her way into the good graces of teachers and staff at the school, her child may not have much of a chance at being liked (or favored) by teachers. And yes, this behavior will continue all the way through high school – as she tries to snap ensure that her child gets a slot on the basketball team, and Beta Club.
The rest of us mothers likely feel twinges of inadequacies in comparison to her. It is not that we do not want to help the schools, volunteer our time or be the teacher’s pet – we just do not have the time! And that doesn’t say anything about our commitment to the school, or involvement in our children’s life. Furthermore, most normal parents want their children to succeed and be recognized based on their accomplishments rather than because their mother was feared by the masses.
So the solution is easy!
Allow little Mrs. Annoying Know it All Busy Body Bossy School Mom to do her thing. Decide that it is perfectly okay if she wants to gather her feelings of importance from being the room mom, the yearbook coordinator, and the party planner. Truth is, you don’t have the time. You can even choose to laugh about it inwardly. But do not refrain from sharing your ideas or speaking your mind. This only hurts you, and you may have some really good ideas that will benefit your child and your child’s school.
And remember, don’t be afraid to disagree or take charge yourself. Sure, this lady is a little whacky, and she gets her endorphins from being in charge of chintzy school activities. And the school takes advantage of her because she is always so willing and able to put herself out there. That doesn’t mean for a minute, that you couldn’t take her place! (Without the annoying of course)
Remember, when your child enters school – you are hurled into a completely new world of parenting nightmares. You will be around hundreds of moms and dads that you will have to pass and re-pass for the next decade. It is best to try and get along, not be annoyed (as much as possible) and prove yourself as a person of self respect, who wont be pushed around or ‘bullied’ by Mrs. Bossy Boots – or anyone else for that matter! After all, not only will you be setting a great example for your children, but you will also find yourself less annoyed and more willing to hand over the title of Room Mom without feeling resentful. After all, you don’t need it to be important!