Long distance relationships rarely work. This has a lot of couples, married or otherwise, being faced with the question of whether or not they should follow their man or woman cross-country in order to keep the relationship working. The answer, unfortunately is not one that is cut and dry. There are many things to consider. The first being YOUR personality.
Before you decide to hit the high road, pack the stuff and crate the dog for a ride to the other end of Timbuktu in order to keep a relationship going, you have to know yourself. Are you the kind of person that depends upon your immediate, local family for support? There are many people in this world that keep their family close and who get the majority of their social interaction, support and friendship from family members. This isn’t a bad thing by no means, but if you move away – will you be able to cope? Take a personal inventory about what it will be like without the convenience and warmth of having your friends and family around you. Even though all people involved will shed tears and swear that they will stay in touch, visit often and talk everyday. The reality is that as time goes on, it is harder to keep these relationships going.
The next question you need to consider is your financial and professional circumstances. If you have a fulfilling, valuable, and stable job where you live right now, that doesn’t offer the possibility of relocating nor tele commuting - will you be able to give that up? If you do give it up, will you feel resentful should the Podunk town or major city you are moving to not have lateral opportunity? And what happens if you give it all up, take the plunge, follow your man or woman – only to find some 6 months later that the relationship is falling apart? Will you have something to move back to, and will your spouse be mature enough to help you get back on your feet since you made the choice for the relationships sake? Also, realize that in some instances where a couple is married and one person is relocated – the other person in the relationship can sometimes resign from their job and collect unemployment from the government. This is only relevant to couples who are married, and strategic and specific steps need to be followed in order to make this happen. So dot your I’s and cross your T’s before you hand in your notice.
These are conversations that you should have before you decide to take the plunge. Moving away, relocating whether to follow employment, a dream or so your partner can simply get closer to his or her own family and grass roots is nothing that should be taken lightly. There are some pretty awesome relocation answer quizzes you can take, that will help you see the big picture and bring up some often forgotten points to consider located here.
Another very important thing to consider if you have a family, is how the children will do with the relocation. Just because YOU decide to follow your man or woman, doesn’t mean that the move is necessarily optimal for your children. It is important to get online and check out schools in the area. You should also look at the demographics, social information, and financial status of the area you are moving to so you can ascertain if the area is a good place to raise children. It may even be wise to take a quick trip to the new place, with the kiddos, so that you and them can get a feel for what goes on there. If your children are interested in sports, check into the similar programs that will be available to them there – so you can rest assured the move isn’t going to uproot or completely alter their lifestyle. Sure, children can make new friends – much faster than adults can, but you have to be considerate of their needs.
The move in and of itself can be strenuous and physically and emotionally difficult. It is very important that you consider the costs of the move, and have a clear picture of what to expect. One incredible resource to help you prepare for the big move is located at www.move.com. You can take virtual real estate tours and get acquainted with the new area from the standpoint of a homeowner. Additionally, www.homefair.com will allow you to compare the cost of living expenses in your destination compared to where you live now. This is essential when bargaining salaries and moving expenses if the move is a result of an employment relocation.
Aside from the straightforward concerns and questions, following your man or woman – is also a perfect time to take inventory of the relationship. Could it last long distance for a while? If the two of you aren’t married, are you ready to move in together now? How permanent is the move? Additionally, is moving and relocating something that your partner will have to do often. Ask any military wife – and you will realize not everyone is cut out for a transient lifestyle. Last but not least, does your man or your woman, really want you to move?
Relocating is never hard. In order for it to be a success, the decision to follow a spouse or partner should be one the two of you make together. It may be wise to take some time and see how well the long distance relationship works before plunging right in and loading up a U-Haul. If that is not an option for you, then at least plan well, do your homework and consider ALL things involved in the move. Sometimes, living a truly good life is learning how to be spontaneous, how to take chances and realizing that every step forward, whether for better or worse, is simply part of your chosen path. You never know, you might realize that moving and following your spouse was by far the best thing that you ever decided to do.