With all the horrendous stories of dates gone awry, it’ a good idea to have some dating safety tips handy – and practice them. You probably consider yourself a “pro” at the dating scene, but it still pays to be forewarned and ready when you’re dating complete strangers. You heard those news reports of women who met men online, agreed to go out on a date, and then got lured into situations that got “sticky.” These reports are enough to make you shudder.

Be safe or be sorry.

Even if you’re dating someone you already know, it’s still prudent to take the necessary precautions. There are a lot of bad eggs out there but you won’t be able to tell who they are because they look like your typical boy/girl next door. Sometimes, you find out too late in the game. Date rape is a screaming reality. If you don’t want to end up screaming, know well in advance what you’re getting into and protect yourself. Never take dating safety tips for granted or scoff at them. No one likes being a victim.

Dating Safety Tips: Be Vigilant

If you look for dates online, you’ve read the usual advice about not revealing your real name and giving your phone number and address. Adopt a user name that will not provide clues to your real identity.

Don’t be a chatterbox and reveal everything about yourself during the initial email exchanges. Predators are looking for certain profiles so be careful. Don’t let your careless online chatter be a roadmap to where you live.

Keep your first conversations superficial. Your mantra should be “ultra light.” This means be polite but don’t confide 100% in a person you’ve met online. Talk about the weather, the books and movies you like, what you like to eat. Don’t mention where you work, who you bank with, where you hang out after work, the names of family members, and that you live alone.

Eliminate any potential dates who try to get too familiar or who crack sex jokes. Stay away from these types. Do not encourage any talk about politics, money or sex – at least not in the “getting to know you” stage. A male friend was shocked one day when he received a comment to his business blog from a woman who asked him what his fetish was. It turned him off completely and he wondered what was it he said in his blogs that triggered such a remark.

If the person you’re exchanging emails with sounds like someone you’d like to meet and that you’re confident he or she has passed the “screen test”, then you may want to suggest a telephone conversation. A relationship coach says that two people who meet online should have a phone conversation after about three or four emails. The telephone is a better gauge of the person than an email. At least you hear a human voice, and can detect tone and manner.

During your telephone conversations, assess whether this is the kind of person you’d like to meet in person. Needless to say, don’t suggest that one of you picks the other up. Suggest a public place where you can meet and will be visible to others. Dinner at home is a big NO – at least until the comfort level is high. Keep the venue neutral.

Tell your family and close friends that you’re meeting this person. Be honest and tell them that you met him or her online. This way, if they need to report you as a missing person, the police will have an idea of how you met. If you can request a photo, do so and give this photo to a family member. Should push come to shove, at least there’s a photo they can work with (it can also happen that the photo may not be the real person you’re dating – that’s a risk you’ll have to take).

Ensure your cell phone is working properly and has batteries. Make sure your purse remains close to you and that you can reach for your car keys easily. You may want to sneak into the washroom, call a friend and let him/her know what restaurant you’re in and where.

Dating Safety Tips: Monitor the Conversation

No matter how charming or engaging your date is, remember that this is only your first meeting. Everyone tends to put their best foot forward.

Try to be more of the listener instead of the talker on your first meeting. The things you hear will clue you into whether or not you want to have a second or third meeting.

Things to “listen for” during the conversation:

• respect and courtesy – does your date speak respectfully of others or does he or she insult other people – people you don’t know? Does your date come across as a positive person?
• eye contact – does your date look you straight in the eye? Does your date pay attention to you or is he/she looking at others as though you’re not around?
• up close and personal – does your date ask too many personal questions on your first meeting? Does he or she ask questions that would be considered “impertinent”?
• personality plus – does your date smile a lot, say thank you to the waiter and is pleasant throughout the evening?
• monopoly – does your date monopolize the conversation? Does your date fire off his/her opinions without asking for yours?
• impatience – does your date finish your sentences for you?
• for the lady: does your date offer to foot the entire bill?
• for the man: does your date offer to split the bill?
• pressure – does your date pressure you to do something you don’t feel like doing?
• alcohol consumption – does your date drink too much?
• history buff – does your date like to talk about the past – telling you about past relationships and a history of abuse?
• all form and no substance – does your date like to talk about fashion a lot but is not aware of the latest news? Does your date have interests other than the latest Armani tie or the skinniest model in Tinseltown?
• wholesomeness – does your date come across as an OK-person, or is there something about him/her that makes you uncomfortable and a tad suspicious?

Dating Safety Tips: Consistency Counts

Just because your emails, phone conversations and first meeting passed the mark, this doesn’t mean that you can put your dating safety tips on the back burner and forget about them. A successful first meeting doesn’t put you near the home stretch. Not yet.

If you hit it off the first time and decide to meet again soon, the screen test must continue. On your second date, be vigilant and this time monitor any inconsistencies. If he said, on the first date, that his father is a surgeon, follow up with an innocent question like: “what made your father go into surgery”? If he gives you a blank stare for a few seconds and fumbles, then chances are he made that up.

Another example: if your date says she graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Marketing and then on your second date says she works as a waitress, then that should raise your eyebrows, unless of course she owns the restaurant.

Pay attention to the inconsistencies because one too many could mean you’re dating a chronic liar. Or a fake.