There is nothing worse than going on a date, having an incredible time, and then finding out that the person that you went on that first date with doesn’t really exist in the real world. Pretending to be someone you are not and creating a false image that cannot be lived up to is useless. That is why it is so important to be yourself. This is not meant to be some escapist excuse to act like a jerk on a date. To the contrary, it is important to be yourself, but it is also important to present the best of who you are.

There are definitely first-date-don’ts that should be avoided to ensure you can move on and make it to the second date. The various don’ts may depend on the person, but the basics should be followed under regular circumstances:

• Never talk about former long-term relationships. The issue may be brought up in conversation, but it is important to glaze over it and wait until you actually know the person to reveal much about your former mates.
• Coming on too strong is a major turnoff. Don’t talk about futuristic plans with your date or what you would like in a spouse and so on. Keep things light. Show that you can be fun and can relate well to your date.
• Even if it is just a casual first date and you did not commit to only being with one another, do not talk about other people you are seeing at present. It will not get you anywhere, and it only seems demeaning.
• Don’t comment on the attractiveness of others around you. Be sure that the person that you are with is the focus of your attention.
• Don’t discuss traumatic events from your past. Again, wait until you feel comfortable with that person and they feel comfortable with you. Talking about deep things from your life too soon can seem extreme and somewhat creepy.
• Don’t try too hard. It can be very unattractive if you do or say things that just seem over the top. Treat your date like you would treat a good friend; be complimentary, but not unbelievable. This also counts the nerve factor. Relax and enjoy the date.
• Don’t fish for compliments. Doing so can seem needy. Mean what you say and don’t just say something to trigger a response.
• Don’t talk on you cell phone. Not only is it rude in general when you are supposed to be giving someone your attention; when you don’t know someone very well and are supposed to be getting to know them, the last thing you should be doing is being easily sidetracked by phone calls.
• Don’t drink too much. This impairs your memory of the person, and the person’s judgment of you. As well, it doesn’t give a very good representation of who you really are. It can be easy to drink too much when you are nervous. So, try to limit yourself to one or two drinks if you partake in any alcohol at all.
• Don’t be late. Starting the date off on a good step includes being on time. Don’t make him/her wait!

First dates are your first impression in a relationship, and remember, you only get one. Make it memorable. The importance of making the time you get on a first date fun, light, and enjoyable to you and your date is a pretty good key to opening the door of a second date. Making a date good goes beyond being polite and amiable. Being able to converse well, showing interest in the other person, and being able to show that you are witty or have a good sense of humor are important contributions to invest in on the first date.

One of the most important first date don’ts is: do not try to make a strict agenda. Be flexible and be willing to be spontaneous. Take the opportunities that come up and be willing to take chances. It is likely that if you are willing to act impulsively, you will have more fun.

With so many don’ts in the first date playbook, it is also essential to recap on some of the helpful dos. Do:

• Be polite. Don’t discount the simple things like courtesy.
• Have fun. Let loose and show that you can have a good time.
• Be attentive. It is good to talk, but it is also vital to show that you can listen.
• Give compliments. Everyone not only loves to hear a nice compliment, but also deserves to every now and then.
• Be honest. Starting off on the right foot also means being who you really are, not some fictitious character that can’t have a repeat performance because he/she can not be located.
• Show that you can be serious and fun. If it is all fun and games, it can be hard to tell if there is a serious side to you. Don’t overdo the serious, but it is nice to know that someone has both sides to them.
• Be yourself. (That is, be the best of yourself!)
• Be safe when you date. Don’t take chances if you don’t know the person. Be sure to play it safe.

First date success can’t be guaranteed, but following the dos and don’ts of a first date will hopefully help you reach a second.