He was your BFF. Your buddy. Your pal. You were his Sally and he was your Harry. Now you find yourself separating your stuff from his. How did this happen? You weren’t only a couple, you were like best friends! Well, now that you are alone and waiting for the courier to pick up his boxes, you want him back. And you know what? Not all break ups are permanent and if you play your cards right, getting your boyfriend back isn’t only possible, it’s likely!
The first thing you need to know is that the old adage ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ really does hold true in some cases as does the one about ‘wanting what we can’t have’. When you’re coupled it can be very easy to fall into a rut, especially if you were great friends as well as lovers. Sadly, it isn’t hard to start being seen as less of a lover and more as a friend as time wears on, so the first thing you need to do is stop that and pronto! Take a little bit of time after the break up to gather your bearings and get your hair done. Yes, your hair. And while you’re at it; a new outfit and some pampering too. Not only will this make you feel better and up the self esteem which is often at rock bottom after being broken up with, but it’ll also give him something to look at, admire and maybe even remind him of the time back when things were new in your relationship – before the comfort set in.
Next, you need to move slow and resist the urge to pounce and get in his face the moment you realize that you do indeed want him back. This can be tough but doing it is crucial to getting your boyfriend back. Not only does it give you the time to think clearly but it also gives him the time to miss you a little more. Take a week or two to yourself even if there are some pesky breakup details to work out like items that were left behind that need to be picked up. Don’t be rude, but rather say that things have been really busy and that you’ll have a little more time to sort things out the following week. And remember; he doesn’t need to know that all you’re doing that week is crying, fretting and trying to pretty yourself up to get him back!
Once you’ve taken that time, you’re ready to move onto the phase that will really help you in getting him back. You want him to know that you are doing just fine, and you aren’t this bitter woman who is spending her waking hours concocting some witch’s brew involving a lock of his hair and his favourite sports jersey. You can do this by sending a very simple and casual text and letting him know that you are finally free to meet. Keep it light and simple – nothing heavy.
Remember too, as much as you may be hurting inside, no matter how horrible the break up may have been, you are an adult and there are no hard feelings because you’re better than that and that’s exactly what you want him to see. Resist the urge to profess your undying love and instead, ask him for drinks and keep it easy and breezy or better yet, bring in friend or two and make it a light hearted evening. Make him watch you just having an absolute ball with the group over drinks, and make sure to include him in some warm and friendly conversation. How is he doing? Ask him how work is? That way you can end the evening not feeling like you are craving for him to ask you out, but a little more pleasant, and easy on your heart. He’ll appreciate that fact that he didn’t spend the night under the interrogation lamp and will relish the true you, this fabulous, funny and mature gal. You’ll shine as the greatness that you are and remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place.
From that moment on your only other job, aside from being fabulous, is to keep in touch casually, be light and only ever-so-slightly flirtatious and see how it goes. Getting your boyfriend back isn’t about begging or pushing or forcing something, but rather about getting in touch with who you are and likely were before you got too comfy in the relationship and then hoping for the best. Showing him a strong, self assured and happy side of you can make him fall back in love or remind him of the love that you were both taking for granted.