One of the more popular ways that couples today are sharing custody, is trading off every other holiday and allowing kids to live with one parent for one week at a time, switching on Fridays.
Living in today’s world, one can only be realistic in knowing that despite the best of efforts, sometimes families fall apart. And when they do, and parents divorce – it is often the children that are left to clean up the pieces of the life they knew and rebuild.
One thing that is for sure is if the end to the relationship is due to physical or emotional abuse, staying together for the sake of money is NOT an option. In this case, you should explore ALL and EVERY option that you have available to you.
So here it is! The ‘ultimate guide’ (and yes the term ultimate is used lightly here) to the pros and cons of divorce. In the interest of positive thinking, let’s start with the pros!
Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean your life is suddenly meaningless. You still have hobbies, friends, relatives, children, and work (to name a few) to enjoy. These relationships and activities are important pieces of you and are critical pieces of life that define who you are.
First and foremost, get in touch with a divorce attorney. In most states and locales, no-fault divorces are allowed. This could be necessary if you have just fallen out of love, or find that your differences are irreconcilable yet feel neither of you truly is to blame.
Rather than blaming autism – or any stressor for that matter for the divorce, maybe couples should cast their fingers toward personality flaws and lack of problem solving abilities.
Every couple is different, and often the physical act of separating homes and belongings is one of the most difficult aspects of divorce. Some people leave under the cover of darkness to avoid a struggle. Other couples stay in the same home for months on end after deciding to separate.
A positive, proactive and purposeful approach to a separation can allow partners to take the time to find out if their relationship can become more fulfilling.
What is it you are supposed to say to your children? You have decided that the marriage you are in isn’t working, and that you will be a happier person by excusing yourself form the relationship.
There are hundreds of reasons, big and small – that can actually make divorce a good thing in your life. But mostly it’s up to you. If you perceive the divorce as the end of the world, it’s going to feel that way.
IF you are thinking about or facing a divorce, it is especially important to look at the divorce as a time of change. To look at it as a beginning rather than an end. Just because two people get divorced doesn’t mean that everything they shared together including the happy times, was all for not.
In the movies, the classic break-ups normally involve a broken vase, a lot of shouting, some choice words, and a door slamming. The next scene is then set for two people getting along without one another, living in separate homes and acting as if the marriage never took place at all. The reality however, is not smooth.
Perhaps one of the biggest problems with marriage counseling, or any form of counseling for that matter is that people often want quick answers. You want your marriage fixed right now and most people aren’t actually committed to doing the work it takes to make things right again.
For many couples, the decision to go through with a divorce is made many years; even decades after all the signs reared their ugly head. All the signs have been there, and the couple begins co-existing as a separate entities.
The two of you broke up. Now you are sitting on Facebook wondering if all those wonderful people you met through your ex, and his or her family members that have become dear to your heart need to be deleted from your friends list.
Whether separations end in reconciliation or breaking up, much can be learned. During separation the stuck pattern of the relationship is temporarily broken. This can be a time to reflect on how well you manage on your own.
Most people, use the threat of divorce for the sheer ‘shut-up’ factor. They know that when things aren’t going their way or that there is a problem looming; they can avoid confrontation and argument by simply saying they want a divorce.
Many married couples have been living with the silent realization that their marriage is dead, yet continually ignore the inklings to ask for a divorce because of fear.
Ups and Downs of Marriage
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